On tying the Knot

I love him to bits. Yes. I admit that. Whatever it is, I've spent a lot of time with him. And by a lot, I do mean A LOT. I practically have another world of mine with him. We spend the night until wee hours in the morning, yes, doing all those that you could ever imagined. We are young. So what do you expect? It's natural to be playful, no?

Okay fine, it's another forbidden relationship between a man and his gadget, that's if you consider him one.

I sent him to Low Yatt plaza yesterday. Went into the shop where I bought him in December 2006. I showed the technician my precious little darling. And he tried switching it on, but to no avail. He flipped him around, screwing in those little nuts while I watched him adjusting those helluva electronics. And he flipped him around, tried to wake him up again. It's still empty.

After much flipping and screwing, the technician finally got tired. It was an attempt of vain.

I drove the little Compaq to the HP headquarters in Bukit Damansara. And guess what, the receptionist said it'll most probably cost over 1k. I can see my darling in 2 weeks time, they just need to, take out the brain and replace it with a new one. He would never be the same. I need time to adjust to the new him. Omygawd, I feel so depressed.

Depression kicks in. No, not solely because of him, but rather the 1k I needed to spend to get him back again. I felt as if I'm using my pocket money like I'm Paris Hilton or the Sultan of B or whoever rich who spends without thinking twice. There's all those mega spendings this year. The Cambodia trip, the repair of my compact camera, the other trip I've made with someone new which no, I'm not going to tell who, and now this, the investment I'm making towards the forbidden relationship of a human and a gadget.

My saving account is running dry. I have no idea how am I supposed to spend the rest of my 3 months here, without asking for help from the parents. I don't want to. I think I'm on the verge of breaking down...

And I'm spending a lot of time in the car alone. Literally. Just last night, I drove to Dataran Merdeka, parked at the side, and watched the lights as the time passed by. No, I didn't do anything. I don't know what I can do without the much trusted legs.

I feel... helpless. And hopeless.

But I can't just tie the knot. I meant, the Malay proverb. Translated, it goes tying the stomach. Which means, abstinence from food. So no, I can't just tie the knot. I need my share of food still.

ps: Depressing sky by Barca Branca